I'm not sure why I continue to sabotage myself. More often than not, when I have something great going, an opportunity to grasp, I find myself doing something to blow my chances, to cripple my chances. Most of my missed opportunities are handcrafted by yours truly. Of the things that I have let slip from my grasp, it is solely myself that let go of the rope.
There is a line in my favorite movie where Kevin Bacon asks Alex Baldwin "Do you think I'll be happy?", to which Alec Baldwin replies smugly "Yeah...you just won't know it". I have this sinking feeling in my stomach that I have this adverse reaction to letting myself just be happy. I can't help but get nervous when things are going good because it just means that there is something coming around the corner to knock me back down to reality.
Apparently, my favorite hobby is building a case against myself, lighting the fire to burn the bridges and pushing myself off cliffs. At least I finally found something I'm good at......
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